Today I have the third in my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. You’ve seen them. They’re the books that scream “homemade” and just make you wanna cringe. The cover totally sucks, the author / publisher is taking herself waaaay too seriously, and/or the blurb / tagline is beyond ridiculous or is very poorly written.
This week, I thought I’d dip a timid toe into the world of “breeder” erotic romance with:
The Millionaire’s Breeder Nanny
First the tagline:
“Ruthless millionaire Brick Bartlett IV needs an heir. Precious Dashayne needs a job. Can they strike the ultimate succession agreement with no romantic entanglements, or is no price high enough for her womb and board?”
The blurb:
Times are hard in Precious Hatfield LaShayne’s little corner of Appalachia where Dollywood layoffs have hit hard. So when reclusive millionaire Brick McCoy Barlett IV posts a want ad seeking a “Pre to post conception nanny”, desperation drives her to apply. She is shocked to learn the job comes with a nine months plus eighteen years employment contract.
Reclusive Brick needs an heir for the Bartlett Chewing Tobacco and Fine Cigars empire but isn’t overly fond of women, especially Hatfield women. Since breeding contracts are not enforceable in courts, the shrewd businessman is not above engaging in a little blackmail, economic or otherwise. But what Brick wants and needs are about to collide at the impetus of a decidedly feminine force far stronger than any uterine contraction.
I couldn’t squeeze in the man-titty on this one, but am hoping the cute little baby will suffice as a next best stand-in.
Do you have ideas for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments! Cheers.
***
Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
Related articles
- Regrettable Book of the Week™ – “Domme Fight Club” (lilashaw.com)
- Regrettable Book of the Week™ – “Alien in My Bed” (lilashaw.com)
5 comments
3 pings
Skip to comment form ↓
Julie Antonovich Reece
October 10, 2012 at 6:21 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Bwahahahah. I’m dying here. The cover is so beautifully bad! Womb and board? Really? Oh the shame. It’s awesome!
Lila Shaw
October 10, 2012 at 6:29 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Haha, thanks. I laugh every time I look at that baby shaking his wee fistie, and with the watermark across his face. LOL
Julie Antonovich Reece
October 10, 2012 at 6:31 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
It’s too perfect!
Jennifer M Eaton
October 10, 2012 at 7:52 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Womb and board. Tee hee
Lila Shaw
October 10, 2012 at 9:30 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Heh-heh…pretty clever, eh, though I’m sure I’ve probably stolen that from someone.
Regrettable Book of the Week™ — “The Ruthless Ginger” | LILA SHAW
October 24, 2012 at 4:13 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
[...] Regrettable Book of the Week™ – “The Millionaire’s Breeder Nanny” (lilashaw.com) [...]
Regrettable Book of the Week™ — “Bridezilla from Transylvania” | LILA SHAW
November 7, 2012 at 6:01 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
[...] Regrettable Book of the Week™ – “The Millionaire’s Breeder Nanny” (lilashaw.com) [...]
Regrettable Book of the Week™ — “Dessert Lover” | LILA SHAW
November 14, 2012 at 6:05 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
[...] Regrettable Book of the Week™ – “The Millionaire’s Breeder Nanny” (lilashaw.com) [...]