Today I have the fifth (wow!) in my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. You’ve seen them. They’re the books that scream “homemade” and just make you wanna cringe. The cover totally sucks, the author / publisher is taking herself waaaay too seriously, and/or the blurb / tagline is beyond ridiculous or is very poorly written.
Originally I was shooting for an Amish-themed romance, but have you tried hunting for Amish women photos that don’t have extra restrictions on their uses? Sheesh, you’d think the Amish wanted to keep a low profile or something. Any-who, let’s try a little South Park humor with:
First the tagline:
“A young woman’s Amish upbringing never prepared her for the sensual passions of loving two men. Both desire to possess her exclusively. One is even willing to kill for her.”
What’s a plain Amish woman to do when separated from her family’s buggy and marooned amongst the English? Well, when in Rome…and Sarah Yoder is most definitely a Christian amongst hungry Roman lions.
Sandy-haired thrill-seeker, Randy Shaaft is instantly smitten with the demure Amish woman he spies wandering aimlessly through the slopes of the local skateboard park. Randy is used to women swooning over his rippling biceps and abs, not blushing fifty shades of crimson. He’s certain, however, that a passionate heart beats beneath all those layers of calico.
Despite his adolescent appearance, Rudy “Red” Taylor plays a mean game of hard ball in his dealings with pro athletes. The cool, calculating ginger is not the least bit prepared, however, for the kick in the gut delivered by the woman on his client’s arm at the Annual Skateboarding Awards Ball. He’s determined to be the one to introduce Sarah to his soul-sucking brand of lovemaking.
A wild night of animal passion with both men rocks Sarah’s world forever. She knows she can never return to her simple ways as surely as she knows she will have to choose between the two men. But will the choice be Sarah’s or will she be the spoils of a death match between a ruthless ginger and a free-wheeling blonde?
Ok, so it’s not my best one, but I still had to laugh at the visual of an Amish woman wandering around a skate park in daze. And I love gingers, I do, so I promise no gingers were harmed in the researching or making of this Regrettable Book.
Do you have ideas for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments! Cheers.
Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.
- Regrettable Book of the Week™ – “Domme Fight Club” (lilashaw.com)
- Regrettable Book of the Week™ – “Alien in My Bed” (lilashaw.com)
- Regrettable Book of the Week™ – “The Millionaire’s Breeder Nanny” (lilashaw.com)
- Regrettable Book of the Week™ – “The Bully Takes a Bride” (lilashaw.com)