Tag Archives : billionaire


Regrettable Book of the Week™ — “The Billionaire’s Cinderella”

Another book for my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

I decided to futz around with the obsessive, spoiled billionaire who buys women for his playthings then falls for them:

BillionaireCinderella

The Tagline:

Sometimes the best things in life are free and right under our noses. All we have to do is look down.

The blurb:

Jane Ash delivers flowers and gifts, makes reservations, and arranges beauty salon, waxing and OB-GYN appointments–all in a day’s work for her very spoiled and debauched billionaire boss and his string of spicy numbers. Jane’s job description also includes cleaning up tearful messes and other loose ends when the “companion contracts” end. If it weren’t for the secret pranks of swapping donkey-sized condoms for her employer’s average-sized stash, she’d lose her ever-loving mind, despite the healthy paycheck.

Christian Gideon never thought he’d grow weary of the fairer sex’s charms, but after giving the heave ho to number thirty-one, that seems to be the case. He’s had women of all hair colors, heights, weights and temperaments, and has tried every position in the Kama Sutra, twice! Perhaps he should let that annoying girl Friday of his go if he can’t keep her busy. Heaven knows she must be missing doling out her usual sneers and digs.

When Jane’s step-sister, Isabelle, bullies her way into an introduction, Christian seizes upon a new form of entertainment. Putting Jane at Isabelle’s imperious beck and call–at least for a few weeks–is the best entertainment he’s had in a long time. Until Jane finally snaps and flees, leaving only a single Easy Spirit pump, size 12, behind. Will Christian be able to find his girl Friday once he realizes that the most important spice in his life has never been anything more exotic than plain table salt?

Oh sigh…this one isn’t all that regrettable, I’m afraid. I could actually see myself writing this as a Naughty Fairy Tale. Stick with me though. I’ve already done next week’s regrettable as a guest post, and it’s quite da bomb, if I say so myself.

Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so.

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Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.

See all prior Regrettable Books of the Week HERE


Regrettable Book of the Week™ — “The Widow’s Last Laugh”

Today I have the eighteenth in my “Regrettable Book of the Week™” series. For those of you new to my series, this is 100% parody. You are more than welcome to laugh, snicker and guffaw at my amateurish photoshopping and blurb writing. Bad is good. Good is bad.

I was exchanging comments on Goodreads with Tasmanian Jill and June Gray about Bared to You by Sylvia Day. Eventually the comments turned to the plethora of billionaire romances and how they were getting a little overdone. June and Jill said they wanted to read a love story where the heroine was the billionaire instead of the hero. I thought that sounded like a great idea so long as the heroine isn’t some drop dead gorgeous cougar who looks ten years younger. That, my friends, was the genesis of today’s Regrettable:

WidowsLastLaugh

The Tagline:

Money can’t buy love, but it can make a nice down payment.

The blurb:

Regina Dingler married for love. Too bad her husband married for money. When the philandering dirtbag dies, a succession of mistresses emerge, each with a sordid tale, an open palm, and a hotshot attorney. No point in buying the bimbos’ silence because apparently everyone except Regina has known all along. The last thing she wants, however, is pity and certainly not at her dead husband’s funeral.

For Lot O’Toole playing arm candy to a wealthy widow is just another day’s work for a top shelf gigolo. If some old gal wants to thumb her nose at a few of her hens, that’s fine with him. She’s paying top dollar for his time and any other parts of him she might require. He’ll just remind himself to “think of England” even though he lives in Phoenix.

When the mistresses join forces to challenge the late Mr. Dingler’s will and pre-nuptial agreement, Lot comes to Regina’s rescue. He is pleasantly surprised to discover the wicked sense of humor his client has been hiding beneath her plain Jane exterior.  Soon, thoughts of England turn into thoughts of E ticket rides at Disneyland. But can Lot ever offer the one part of himself he’s kept a virgin all these years–his heart? Will Regina ever be able to trust a man to love her for anything but her money? And what of the mistresses? Will there be a special edition The Bachelor reality show produced just for them?

 

Pretty Woman with a penis. Oh my! I could totally see myself writing this with a heaping dose of snark. Some day…maybe.

Do you have an idea for the next “Regrettable Book of the Week™”? Be sure to share in the comments if so.

***

Disclaimer: “Regrettable Book of the Week™” is a completely fictional (duh!) creation for parody purposes only. I have no product beyond what you see in this post. Photos are free download proofs of stock photos or photos I have purchased, not to be used for commercial purposes. This is not a commercial purpose, however, I retain any and all creative story rights in the highly unlikely event I accidentally create something that might be worth a damn.

See all prior Regrettable Books of the Week HERE